


Triangles, Desert Flowers, and Barbeque Sauce

by shamewithtwolegs



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M, Polygamy, Threesome, baby's first porn be gentle, hi to fellow latecomers to the fandom who binge-listen to wtnv during quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamewithtwolegs/pseuds/shamewithtwolegs
Summary: “ – and, yeah, I know I have said a lot about our neighbor filled with our doubles but he’s an exception. And, yeah, I know, dear listeners, you are already asking how come your Station Management let you have two boyfriends?! Well, a bit of advice if you want two boyfriends, contact the Secret Police, the City Council, and the eldritch Gods that created our universe for the sole purpose of feeding on our fears to get your form approved exactly in that order –“Or, true love does not mean monogamy.
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer, Carlos/Kevin (Welcome to Night Vale), Carlos/Kevin/Cecil Palmer, Kevin/Cecil Palmer
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	Triangles, Desert Flowers, and Barbeque Sauce

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for [Sadsnail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadsnail) for betaing, They did a lot for this fic.  
> (Is it too soon to confess my love? hahaha I kid)
> 
> for thescientificnameofcorn if they'll have it

**_Carlos_ **

Carlos sprints past the gate of the dog park, hearing an inhuman wailing growing louder behind him. With his up-to-Clinical Laboratory Standards Institute (CLSI)-rubber shoes bearing the brunt of the thumbtacks the gateway is covered by, he runs past the spiked gates, finally being able to pause and breathe when he catches sight of Night Vale. Home, he accepts to himself.

Moments after, someone slams into him. Pre-Night Vale Carlos would have stumbled down, but Night Vale Carlos wouldn’t have survived Night Vale without acquiring new very specific skills. Right now he is utilizing his hard-earned skill of _training-his-nervous-system-to-bring-information-about-a-sudden-force-stimulus-to-brain-and-then-a-motor-neuron-and-maintaining-his-balance-and-get-at-least-six-feet-away-from-the-cause-of-the-sudden-force_ (Rachelle is the best out of his team of scientists in optimizing this skill, managing to incorporate her skill of _pull-out-a-very-sharp-metal-stick_ into it).

It’s Kevin. Smiling despite being obviously out of breath. The blood he always wears laced on his ironed vest looks more accidentally smudged than deliberately smudged this time. In his left hand, he clutches Carlos’ letter tightly. 

“I’m not happy,” he says brightly, face scrunching like he’s about to cry.

“Do you want — ” Carlos tries to find the words. “ — with me?”

Kevin reaches out to grasp at Carlos’ hand, the one not holding the letter. Carlos let him. “Yes . . . Yes, please,” he answers, like he understands what Carlos is asking.

Kevin’s in love with Carlos. How could Carlos not know that? He and Cecil are made out of the same stuff through and through. The same look in their eyes when they want something. He knew it too because Kevin asked him once _Would you stay with me?_ in their little communal kitchen they built on the desert otherworld, Kevin uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant.

He hates the look on Kevin’s face when he answered no without even pausing to think about it.

So maybe as repentance for breaking his heart, he pulls him close for an embrace. Kevin’s head buries itself in the crook of his neck.

“Would you try with —- with us?” Carlos asks again. “If Cecil says no then it means no, okay?” 

Kevin knows too, that Carlos loves Cecil. 

* * *

Carlos came home to them fucking next to the sofa on the cold floor. Kevin and Cecil rarely make it to the bed, preferring to shamelessly fuck on the floor if it means they get there faster. They are passionate and intense. Kevin is pinned below Cecil, spasming at every thrust. He rakes his fingernails down Cecil’s back, the tender pink line of skin it left in its wake making a delicious contrast to Cecil’s unblemished back. Cecil growls and fucks harder into Kevin; their bucking hips slide them across the floor until Kevin can try to scrambles for purchase onto a wall. Their living room is not that small in space.

Carlos took a dazed stumble onto the sofa. It went on and on until Cecil halts and whimpers. Carlos knows it as the sound he makes when he comes. Kevin shudders under Cecil and _oh,_ a shot of longing makes it way down Carlos’ spine, he knows how that feels. Cecil pulls out leaving Kevin not yet undone. Cecil tucked Kevin close.

“ _Cecil,”_ Kevin hissed out. Cecil chuckles, reaching down to grab one of Kevin's thighs, spreading them wider right in front of Carlos. Cecil smiles at Carlos, their captive audience on their sofa. Cecil’s eyes are dark and hungry. Kevin thumps his head in frustration. “Carlos c’mere.” He beckons.

Carlos is burning for them. All blood has left his head, he bites his lips, chucks his lab coat on to the ground, and accepts the invitation of his lovers.

**_Cecil_ **

Night Vale is Cecil’s home. The people of Night Vale know him and he knows them. Big Rico doesn’t have to ask him for his order. He doesn’t have to plan with Old Woman Josie and John Peters (you know, the farmer?) to be on the Desert Flower Bowling Alley every Wednesday (Wednesdays that exist that is) night at seven for them to be there. The people know him to be a quiet man outside the radio station booth.

Kevin is known for the part he played during StrexCorp’s attempted takeover. He talks _all the time,_ without saying anything that matters. He’s a sadist, who always smiles and wears blood on his clothes. (Barbeque sauce., Cecil insisted that if he is to live with them they have to make a compromise on Kevin’s . . . culturally different fashion choices. He draws the line at their home, no barbeque sauce on anywhere . . . Eventually, he’ll give in and will allow Kevin to decorate parts of their home.)

But to his surprise, when they were together he merely smiled his terrifyingly bureaucratic smile. Kevin, for as little as Cecil knew him, has never used his words for actual sincere communication. All Kevin ever knows is to use grammar for journalistic reports, and his syntax to downplay and misdirect. He tags along with Carlos and Carlos’ team of scientists to bring pain and suffering to whatever and whoever tries to harm them. 

He’s bloodthirsty to the core. In a strange way that is usual for Night Vale, he fits right in.

Cecil doesn’t know what he expected when he said yes to Kevin, but it wasn’t the sweetness. Not just to Carlos but Cecil as well. Cecil knows Kevin only agreed to try him as well because he wants Carlos first and foremost. Maybe only at first, Cecil concedes. Three weeks into their new relationship status, Kevin surprises him with an upgraded radio broadcast equipment . Kevin would call his old broadcast equipment dusty and lacking red. It’s sweet and Cecil surprises himself by kissing him on the cheek as thanks.

Kevin pulls him back when Cecil begins to move away, to kiss him once on the lips and twice on both cheeks. Cecil thinks Kevin misses the radio too. Well, at least he knows what he’ll get for his new boyfriend.

Cecil and Kevin are mirror opposites of each other. Their world should have been in parallel, similar but never meeting. Against all that should be, they have met. Meeting at a point wherein a whole new flavor of life could unfold.

Cecil is all easy affection and sweet words, while Kevin is all deliberate touch with purpose in his eyes and promise on his fingertips.

* * *

Their first time together goes smoother than expected, considering that there are way too many configurations of three to try. The lights are off, and they drag the blankets and pillows from their bed to the floor. The bed is not made for three. So they make a rather innocent pillow fort for adult activity. The three of them sit down equidistant from one another in a loose triangle.

“So, uh,” Cecil begins, curious, “This is a preliminary try-out of whether we’ll work out. So, start.” He gestures to Kevin, a permission to touch his Carlos.

Kevin’s shaking hands reach out to Carlos, Carlos allows himself to be reached and kissed almost shyly. Then a bit firmer and longer kiss. Kevin tugs him forward ‘till he’s kneeling before him. Hands start to wander under clothing and then tugged off. All the while Cecil watches

They’re both panting and in a state of partial undress when Carlos pulls Cecil into a kiss and climbs into his lap. Kevin takes this time to undress fully. Cecil moans when Carlos grinds down.

“Ca-Carl-“ Cecil attempts to say. Cecil pushes Carlos off so he can get undressed. The sleeves of his shirt catch at his shoulders as he hurries to pull them off. Kevin pounces on Carlos, pushing him to the floor so he can grind down on him. Kevin pulls Carlos’ pants off. He reaches for the lube and hastily coats his fingers, he doesn’t waste any time and shoves his middle finger inside Carlos. Carlos’ spreads his legs even wider, and Kevin kneels in between them, watching his finger slide in and out. Cecil climbs on top of Carlos, careful not to disturb Kevin in his work, and kisses him hard. Where Kevin is shy and purposeful, Cecil’s kisses are wet and dirty. Carlos' hands move to grip Cecil’s hair tight, keeping his mouth on his mouth even when it feels like he needs air. He needs Cecil more.

 _Keep him close,_ Carlos thinks. _Keep them close._

Below them, Kevin ups the fingers pumping inside Carlos to three.

Cecil’s working himself open with his fingers. There’s a pause of movement down below.

“Cecil, raise him for me,” Kevin commands, voice rough, his hands slicking up his cock. Cecil’s one arm wraps around Carlos’ hips, another brace on the floor for leverage. The new altitude makes way for Kevin into Carlos, between his spread legs. Carlos breaks the kiss to pant at Cecil’s shoulder.

“Ready?” Kevin asks, pulling his fingers out.

“Yes, please,” Carlos politely says into Cecil’s mouth.

“ _Ngh,”_ Carlos whimpers, when Kevin finally enters him. Kevin leans back, his palms planted steady behind him. Dark skin and abdomen glinting with sweat. Connected only by the point where Kevin’s cock meets Carlos’ hole.

“Sexy, amazing Carlos.” Cecil whispers reverently into Carlos’ hair. Kevin rocks his hips shallowly, bitten lips, and impossibly dark eyes. Cecil moves away from the wide spread of Carlos’ legs, gently setting Carlos down and allowing Kevin to crawl on top of him.

Kevin fucks soft and slow and sweet and quiet. Cecil watches them like he’s watching a beautiful oil painting come to life. Kevin’s quiet, with only the occasional sharp exhale into Carlos’ chest. His hands grip Carlos ' face, his face saying more than any words can express. It is saying _I can’t believe I get to have you. You feel wonderful. You’re wonderful. You make me feel wonderful._

Carlos grips at the sheets tight. Eyes shut in concentration.

“If you angle yourself slightly to the left he’ll make the most amazing of noises.” Cecil urges Kevin to the side. Carlos’ eyes snap open towards Cecil, filled with betrayal. Kevin shifts accordingly.

“ _There,”_ Cecil says, triumphant.

“Oh _God ,oh God, oh God, oh God,”_ shouts Carlos, as his sweet spot is hit in a slow agonizing way. Kevin presses into it and pulls off slow, only to do it over and over again until Kevin comes. Cecil and Carlos watch their new lover come for the first time. An audible hitch in his breath then a moan, “Carlos.”

A brief moment of rest. Kevin pulls away from Carlos, leaving a sinful trail of cum between his cock and Carlos’ ass. He comes to Cecil, and kisses him for the first time. Thank you,” he whispers into Cecil’s lips, before diving back for another kiss.

Cecil’s still as hard as a rock. Carlos still rock hard and deliciously splayed out watches them with wide dark enraptured eyes. They make out for a while and he pulls away to have his turn at Carlos. He slips Carlos’ cock in him. “Don’t come until I do,” he warns.

Cecil goes up and down, punctuated by the many ways Carlos can say, Cecil. Cecil pins Carlos' thighs with his hands all the while Carlos tries to thrust up. They both come shaking.

“Gorgeous, Carlos,” Cecil sighs dreamily. Cecil rolls away to catch his breath, eyeing Kevin off to his left.

There are many configurations of three. So many to try.

**_Kevin_ **

**_" —_ ** _and my other boyfriend, Kevin — “_

Kevin drops his cup of tea. It doesn’t shatter dramatically because the cup is made of plastic. Carlos glances at him with a strange smile on his face from the counter where he is mixing multi-colored glowing liquids, occasionally it smokes, and the smoke does a short interpretative dance number for exactly 15 seconds before dissipating with a scream. Kevin smiles back at his boyfriend to tell him _Do Not Make A Comment._ Cecil’s voice continues to prattle on from the radio.

 _“ — and, yeah, I know I have said a lot about our neighbor filled with our doubles but he’s an exception. And, yeah, I know, dear listeners, you are already asking how come_ **_your_ ** _Station Management let you have two boyfriends?! Well, a bit of advice if you want two boyfriends, contact the Secret Police, the City Council, and the eldritch Gods that created our universe for-the-sole-purpose-of-feeding-on-our-fears to get your form approved exactly in that order —“_

\---

Carlos introduces him as his boyfriend to his team of scientists. It is met with blank uncomprehending stares. Finally, a man with red streaks and eyebags grabs Carlos by the shoulders, looks at him in the eyes, and asks with a grim tone:

“Did you and Cecil break up?” The man spares Kevin a glance, his sleep-deprived eyes suspicious.

“We’re fine.” Carlos rubs his neck, “Kevin’s my _other boyfriend.”_

“Oh.”

A beat.

“How come I don’t even have one boyfriend? How come _you_ have two boyfriends? I know you were completely uninterested in romance before Night Vale!” The man sounds indignant. He pulls his hands away from Carlos’ shoulders and turns to his fellow scientists. “Guys?” — he tries to meet anyone of his teammates’ eyes — “Am I the only one without a boyfriend? Uninterested people are exempted from answering my question.”

“Anyway!” Carlos cuts him off, “He’s here as our bodyguard. He can beat a _librarian_.”

Carlos’ team of scientists gasp in shock.

\---

Their new bed is big enough to fit the three of them. Kevin likes to be between them both. The memories of before-Strex Corp are gaining vividness day by day now that the food supply is untampered (usually). Strangely, he doesn’t feel sad or wanders too deep into what-could’ve-beens if-it-hadn't-beens. Nostalgic yes, but he doubts he’ll ever choose an alternate universe where he's not in between his lovers.

He stares at the ceiling, wondering. Their neighbor upstairs had just misinterpreted a line in their mantra again, and is now screaming as they pay the price of two limbs for being such an amateur. Cecil shifts from his left. Kevin knows he’s awake, Cecil’s a light sleeper, unlike Carlos who can sleep deeply no matter how loud the noises are. While Kevin will either sleep soundly or not at all. He turns to him to meet his half-open eyes.

“Kevin,” Cecil mumbles. He snuggles closer to clutch him, and Kevin complies, an arm drawn tight around his torso and a face squashed in the crook of his neck. “ _Lovel ‘ya.”_ he hears Cecil mumble.

There is no _and I fell in love instantly_ between them. It is how deserts are thought barren until you come to see and find out about desert flowers. Kevin turns to kiss him, thinking of how the triangle is the strongest shape, of how it is stable and holds its shape in the face of great forces., Cecil returns his kiss sluggishly. Kevin kisses him until Cecil’s mouth turns slack, falling back asleep. Not wanting to disturb his rest, Kevin pulls away and contents himself in Cecil’s chest. He stays in Cecil’s arms until the distant rays of the sun tints the sky with light.

Carlos’ wakes a few moments later. Before getting off the bed he presses a kiss to Cecil’s forehead, before stroking Kevin’s hair, his head still cradled on Cecil’s chest. Only a few hours more, then they’ll all be up, ready to start the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Today's proverb: Comment or leave kudos to confirm you still exist.
> 
> Criticism is welcome, tell me how I did I am ace as fuck and I really tried with this.
> 
> P.S. I made a tumblr account just to see if anyone will say hi to me: [averageace](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/averageace)  
> 


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